Is the phrase "I don't give a monkey's" British English, American English, or both? If British English, what would be an AmE equivalent?

Also, what does one call that fiberglass insulation stuff you put in the roof, on this side of the Atlantic?

What do you call those stand-alone back yard shade canopies? Gazebo? Canopy? E-Z UP tent?

In other news, I seem to have got over the writer's block that I've had for the last few weeks (I was unable to get past a certain stage in the plot, and it was exacerbated by lack of free time due to mum's visit, spending one of my free mornings in urgent care, helping at Cosima's school etc) but thanks to drcosmos doing the school run this morning I was able to get in a straight four hours, and I think I've nailed it. Hoorah!

It appears I have already written 11k of shock. Goodness.

Is the expression "to do one's nut" (she saw that the child had flushed her watch down the toilet, and did her nut") specific to UK English? If so, what would be a good US equivalent?

Ok, in American English, in reference to flimsy garments that one might (according to gender and or preference) wear on one's legs, does one say "hose" or "pantyhose" or "tights"?

And: can I use the word "trebuchet" as a verb?

I am stuck on a plot point in the latest project (not the David story, I've given up with that for the time being). The story centres around a relationship in which the wife commits adultery in a one night stand. It's going to be pretty sleazy, and not something she'd intended to happen, so it's not like she would have invited him to her place or anything. The way the plot is starting to pan out, I want the husband to find out about it later the same evening, but don't want him to walk in on them or anything like that. So: how does he find out about it? I can't come up with a scenario I'm happy with. I don't want the lover turning up again later or anything - the novel explores the relationship between husband and wife, so the lover is a very peripheral character, I want him in and out of the story as quickly as possible (much like his sexual technique, actually).

Sorry, that's a bit stream-of-consciousness...

"How to Charm a Wart" is an idiosyncratic history of Cornwall, seamlessly woven from a blend of historical fact, anecdote and myth. A focus on a single family lends structure and intimacy to the story: the Angoves have shared Cornwall's fortunes through the centuries and were witnesses to the major events of Cornish history, going right back to the days of the famous Michael Joseph an Gof - possibly himself an ancestor of the same family.

Events such as the Cornish uprisings between the fifteenth and seventeenth centuries and the hardships of the tin miners during the economic upheavals of the nineteenth century are given freshness and immediacy by being told with excerpts in narrative form. Cornwall's legends and folklore are similarly treated, with re-tellings of myths in the style of a traditional Cornish droll-teller, and instruction on the subjects of dowsing, the curing of ringworm and - of course - how to charm a wart.


Does it work?

Well, following help from pphinfinitarian and hatmandu, another TWO edits, and then some very positive reviews from the psychocommagrlz, it feels like "How to Charm a Wart" might actually be worth doing something with. It's certainly tighter, more coherent, and flows better than it did a few months ago.

I've started researching suitable publishers. I was quite surprised: a quick google has turned up no less than four suitable publishers (publishers who specialise in books about Cornwall, and who have similar kinds of things on their publications lists) on the first two pages. I guess an informal email approach might be the way to start, what do you think?

Now to try and think up a two sentence description of Wart that might perusade a potential publisher not to press the delete button straight away.

The Waters at Meribah


Synopsis


There are many ways in which a vicar can upset a congregation, especially if she is young and inexperienced. Should, however, a group of slovenly, drug-abusing New Age Travellers set up camp on the edge of the village, and should she sleep with one of the ringleaders, that might be considered beyond the pale.

Jen Banfield is bound to the village by ties of duty and loyalty, but depressed and frustrated by the self-righteous apathy of village life. She finds herself deeply attracted by the colourful anarchism of the newcomers, and caught in the increasingly uncomfortable position of trying to bridge the divide between two profoundly different communities.

The Travellers’ journey is not as purposeless as first appears, and they have not come to the village by chance. Like the Children of Israel in a sermon preached by Jen, they are on a journey that they hope will eventually lead them – literally – to a promised land, a place where they can realise their dream of self-sufficiency. Jen, falling under their influence, embarks on her own journey through a wilderness of uncertainty towards self-reliance and a re-awakened sense of joy.

The Waters at Meribah casts an affectionately subversive eye on the Established Church, explores what happens when cultures collide, and describes a young woman’s struggle towards maturity and self-confidence.


Waddya think? Does it work?

The novel formerly known as "Wayfaring Stranger" is henceforth to be known as "The Waters at Meribah".

Thank you for your attention.